Lisa's 21 Day "Do or Die" Challenge Journal

[Lisa Smith]

I just want to preface this by saying I'm a single work-at-home Mom with 3 little boys and am currently pregnant with a little girl who is due in October.  I feel like this is my last ditch effort to finally gain control over this home...regardless of the things going on in my personal life that feel completely out of control.  I owe it to myself and my children!

 

Day 1 (06/08/11) - I sat down this morning with my task of creating my Boost circuit, but unfortunately I brought along my obsessive and perfectionist tendencies.  Long story short, it literally took me half the day to fill out my worksheet.  I had to make sure I included everything and I had to make sure they were in just the right order and blah blah blah.  I can't say that I did my circuit exactly the way I was told to...but I made it work for me with a morning circuit starting with breakfast, an afternoon circuit started by lunch and an evening circuit started by dinner...it was the only way I could make it look doable and not overwhelm myself.

 

Then my second task for the day was to set up my email to filter and label the No Kaos Zone emails.  I thought hah, I don't have to do that.  But then this new voice popped in my head and said "Lisa, your way doesn't work...just do what you're told, no questions asked."  So I did my filter and got all my emails organized.

 

By this time it was late afternoon and I was frustrated with myself because I had wasted most of the day.  But alas, I was determined to not be defeated and I started with my morning circuit.  The one thing that really stayed in my mind while I was working was to work quickly.  So often I work slowly and allow myself to get sidetracked which means I rarely make it through my morning chores, let alone the rest of the day and my weekly work.

 

Something miraculous happened - between sheer determination and giving it everything I had...I completed my entire circuit for the day.  I didn't pay attention to the times I had listed - that can come later.  I also skipped 3 areas of my house that are out of control...but by the time I went to bed that night, my master bedroom, the kid's room, the bathroom, the living room and my kitchen were all picked up and wiped down.  Unbelievable!

[Lisa Smith]

I still feel like I'm "missing something somewhere."  I'm not doing anything extra right now except my basic routines...so that means I have 3 areas that are completely out of control that I'm not touching.  My kitchen, living room, master bedroom, bathroom, and kids room are all "decent" and just have to be picked up each day.

 

In the morning we eat breakfast...then immediately after I go in and make my bed and have the big boys make their beds.  I get together a load of laundry (which sometimes takes awhile because my boys like to take out clothes that they don't wear or wear something for 5 minutes and then throw it on the floor) and start it (and quite often have to put away clothes I've left in the dryer from the day before).  Then I empty the dishwasher and clear the kitchen table & counters and load up the dishwasher.  Then I check calendar & what's for dinner...get the laundry into the dryer and shower.  Typing it out it seems SO simple...yet I RARELY can get through all that before lunch!

 

After lunch, I again clean up the table and counters, then I'm SUPPOSED to fold/put away clothes.  Sometimes I do get distracted by having to rehang the boys clothes or put them back in the drawers because I think the baby is taking them down and throwing them on the floor in the closet.  I seriously cannot leave him alone for 5 minutes lol. Then I go through each room and quickly pick up everything that's out of place.  Then I do my weekly work which consists of things like grocery shopping, vacuuming, dusting, yard work, etc.  I RARELY get to weekly work except for grocery shopping.

 

Then dinner, clean up kitchen, sweep, pickup rooms and wipe down bathroom.

 

Again, as I type all this it seems so simple and quick...yet it never ever works out this way and I'm not understanding why.

[Jan Ferrante]

My daughter used to do that with clothes too, we laugh about it now :0) I swear she changed every half hour when she was about 3 and threw her clothes on the floor every time. To make it worse we lived in a very small place at the time and her dresser was in the living room - good times, lol!!

(she's 18 now, just graduated high school Wed night, she still throws clothes on the floor but at least they are in her room now - actually she keeps things quite well most of the time but her throwing clothes around and running naked through the house have been over for quite some time :0)

I have thought to include a BOOST Circuit sheet that is a little different for moms with small kids - it is the same concept but in a different format, I used something like it back then and it seemed to help.

I used to make a big circle on a piece of paper and divide it into sections like a pie. I put the main things that I wanted to 'try' to do on it and then picked from it when ever I had a chance.

Since there could be no real schedule with so many interruptions I gave up on trying to do anything by strict time schedule - some days of course where better than others.

I also remember chatting to my sister about seeming to only ever being able to get one main thing done (something out of the routine - some days that didn't get done either) so I would select one thing and try for that rather than thinking I should be doing all these other things running through my head as well. It helped to reduce the stress and unrealistic expectations.

 I don't want to keep harping and I know how tough it is with small kids to get things done, but if I could change one thing about those days it would be my stressing about all the things I wasn't getting done and just to have enjoyed them more. Not necessarily that I would have tried to do less, I mean my mindset. I loved them and did cherish having them, but I also used to stress about my lack of progress around the house a lot and now my kids are growing up and away - I'd love to have even one day with them as little ones again (wouldn't it be amazing to be able to do that :0). Moms come in the store with their little ones and I think it wasn't that long ago that I was that mom and my kids were little, grabbing bananas and taking a bite with the peel on - that one ended up working there in the produce dept, good thing he got past that :0)

The key I suppose it balance and getting through :0)

 

[Lisa Smith]

Well I have to say that I had an epiphany over these past couple of days.  I kept hearing in my head that apparently I was trying to do too much, but couldn't figure out where to cut back.

So I spent some time reading some blogs of stay at home moms and the first thing that hit me is that my kids had little structure to their day.  Plus I was really struggling with discipline because I felt like nothing was working and they were becoming more and more out of control.  So first things first, we implemented a straight forward discipline system...rules were simple...obey what I say & be respectful (no talking back, no talking badly to eachother and hands to yourself).  You get one warning and then it's straight to time out.  I used to do time out in their room...but the problem was that I couldn't see them and they wound up just playing around.  Well now, each of them (including the 2 year old LOL) have a spot in the hall way where they have to sit, fold their hands and face the wall.  2 minutes for the 2 year old, 4 minutes for the 4 year old, 6 minutes for the 6 year old and if they talk or turn around, their time starts over.  It has worked MIRACLES!!

 

Next of all...the kitchen has been a huge struggle for me.  I typically would clean it 3 times a day, once after every meal.  Well that was stealing a lot of time...so I started simply making the older boys clear their own dishes and set them on the counter next to their sink.  If the table is terribly dirty, I give it a quick wipe, otherwise I leave it until the evening.  Same thing with the floor.  OMG I let my kitchen not be perfect throughout the day!! :)

 

So now nighttime....I changed dinner to an hour earlier to give us time at night to do some things.  Right after dinner, older boys are sent to their room to pick it up while I give the baby a bath.  The first day I had to stand in the doorway of the bathroom (which is luckily next to their room) and tell them what to pick up...but by the second day, they figured it out.  The second day, they had their room clean in 5 minutes!!!  So then the baby gets his PJs on and goes to bed and the middle boy takes a shower.  While he is showering (I leave the door open in case he needs me) I clean half the kitchen and my oldest cleans up all the toys in the living room (last night he even vacuumed for me!).  Then I help my middle boy get ready for bed and lay him down and the oldest showers.  I then finish the second half of the kitchen, and put my oldest to bed.

 

What all this breaks down to, is that I have plenty of time to sit and work and rest during the day...and I can be in the living room with my boys.  And by 8:30, I have the whole house pulled together and all my boys in bed which gives me some peace and quiet time to watch tv and crochet before I go to sleep.

 

It's not perfect, but it's SO much better!!!

[Jan Ferrante]

Wow Lisa, that's so fantastic! That really is the key, think first, then plan your strategy just like would be done anywhere to make something work. Sometimes you need to refine as you go, but it sounds like you have really had a great day. Yayyyyy!!!! Your guys sound adorable!