Lisa's 21 Day "Do or Die" Challenge Journal

[Lisa Smith]

I just want to preface this by saying I'm a single work-at-home Mom with 3 little boys and am currently pregnant with a little girl who is due in October.  I feel like this is my last ditch effort to finally gain control over this home...regardless of the things going on in my personal life that feel completely out of control.  I owe it to myself and my children!

 

Day 1 (06/08/11) - I sat down this morning with my task of creating my Boost circuit, but unfortunately I brought along my obsessive and perfectionist tendencies.  Long story short, it literally took me half the day to fill out my worksheet.  I had to make sure I included everything and I had to make sure they were in just the right order and blah blah blah.  I can't say that I did my circuit exactly the way I was told to...but I made it work for me with a morning circuit starting with breakfast, an afternoon circuit started by lunch and an evening circuit started by dinner...it was the only way I could make it look doable and not overwhelm myself.

 

Then my second task for the day was to set up my email to filter and label the No Kaos Zone emails.  I thought hah, I don't have to do that.  But then this new voice popped in my head and said "Lisa, your way doesn't work...just do what you're told, no questions asked."  So I did my filter and got all my emails organized.

 

By this time it was late afternoon and I was frustrated with myself because I had wasted most of the day.  But alas, I was determined to not be defeated and I started with my morning circuit.  The one thing that really stayed in my mind while I was working was to work quickly.  So often I work slowly and allow myself to get sidetracked which means I rarely make it through my morning chores, let alone the rest of the day and my weekly work.

 

Something miraculous happened - between sheer determination and giving it everything I had...I completed my entire circuit for the day.  I didn't pay attention to the times I had listed - that can come later.  I also skipped 3 areas of my house that are out of control...but by the time I went to bed that night, my master bedroom, the kid's room, the bathroom, the living room and my kitchen were all picked up and wiped down.  Unbelievable!

[Lisa Smith]

Day 2 (June 9, 2011) - Today's task was to set up a Green Cleaning Caddy.  I didn't go all out for this because I could see myself just getting too ridiculously obsessive with it and literally I have $8 to my name LOL.  But because I've made my own cleaners in the past, I already had a spray bottle full of vinegar and water and I just added a little lemon balm oil to it to make it smell a little nicer.  I already keep cleaning washcloths in the bathroom and kitchen to eliminate the use of paper towels and I have a microfiber towel in the medicine cabinet to wipe the mirror each morning when I shower.  So, I called it good and set off on my circuit.

 

I had to make some adjustments to my circuits because I found certain items needed to be repeated throughout the day.  So, to make it easy on myself and to eliminate paper clutter, I added my circuits to my To Do list on Cozi.  That allowed me to easily make changes and it gives me an easy way to check off items as I do them.  Also it allowed me to visually see why my old method was failing - I was piling everything into my morning and I would get overwhelmed and quit.  The way I have it set up now, I actually have some time leftover to take a breather before lunch.  It was very difficult for me to just SIT because I felt almost guilty...but I knew the rest of the items would get done after lunch and that was OK.  

 

Again - a miracle happened.  Not only did I get my entire circuit done...but for the first time since I've lived in this house....I got my WEEKLY WORK ALL DONE!!!  It's not a huge task, but the hardest part was sweeping and mopping the kitchen and bathroom floors.  Why?  Because of that stupid perfectionist attitude.  The floor just HAD to be perfectly swept, which meant I would sweep first with the broom and then go through with a small broom and dust pan and do it again.  Then get the mop and mop and get each and every little tiny thing off the floor.

 

Although it went against everything in me...I changed my attitude.  I swept once, quickly and then like nails on a chalkboard...I ran the mop over the floor the best I could without worrying about if it was perfect.  It was SO hard to do it...but afterward I was almost in tears...it's ok if it's not perfect...it was DONE!

 

Also something that made me smile is in the middle of the day I got a call that I was going to have unexpected company.  Instead of stressing over it, I merely finished my vacuuming while I waited for my guests to arrive.  When they got there, I put the vacuum away and took a look around the house and it literally took my breath away....everything was CLEAN!  (Ok, except for those 3 problem areas I spoke of in yesterday's journal).

 

Day 2 and I had completed everything and went to bed with a fairly clean house!

[Lisa Smith]

Day 3 (June 10, 2011) - Today's task was merely to complete my Boost Circuit.  Simple enough except I had a big day ahead of me and was full of anxiety.  I had an errand to run in the morning and then in the afternoon I had to go to court regarding my divorce.

 

I am typically one of those people who has to do things in a certain order and won't go on to the next task until the first one is completed.  I knew that this wasn't going to work for a day like this...so I started my morning circuit until I had about an hour left and then I switched to the end of my morning circuit and jumped in the shower.

 

I survived my day, but by the time I got home I was physically and emotionally exhausted.  Instead of beating myself up in my head over not doing my work...I chose a couple of things off my circuit to complete and I left everything as is and went to bed.  I know I can easily jump  back into things in the morning and it won't take me hardly any time at all to get back to where I was.

 

I'm not going to make a habit out of allowing myself to just "leave things" but I think I need to allow myself some space to be human instead of expecting absolute perfection from myself.

[Jan Ferrante]

Hi Lisa! Don't want to gross you out, but I could give you a great big kiss!! There is so much in your journal that is so amazing!!! Love it, love it, love it!

You did perfectly perfect in your imperfection :0) One of the things that I absolutely love about the system as well is knowing that I WILL pick up where I left off. It gives such freedom and so much weight off the shoulders in worrying when I can't get it all finished.

I guess you could say it inserts boundaries. Since housework can definitely expand to infinity and beyond, that can only be a good thing.

I have never heard of Cozi but I am checking it out, thanks very much for the resource.

I also love your simple cleaning solution (the vinegar water and the essential oil) It really can be that simple and cheap. I do the same only my cleaning spray often only contains water and essential oil. It does the trick and I can use it for air freshener too.

You are a real inspiration. Thanks so much for taking the time to post your journal. You jumped right in like a pro!

I am so happy that you are doing so well - especially with all that you have on your plate right now. Good for you!

 

[Jan Ferrante]

 The one thing that really stayed in my mind while I was working was to work quickly.  So often I work slowly and allow myself to get sidetracked which means I rarely make it through my morning chores, let alone the rest of the day and my weekly work.

I just had to comment on this as well because it is so key. I think that it is one of the major reasons it works. I find the exact same thing myself - it is absolutely amazing some days what I am able to do if I am working within my BOOST circuit time. I can try to do the exact same thing without the timer or sheet and can lollygag an entire morning away and not get half of it done. (and find myself wandering all over the place being completely scattered!

[Lisa Smith]

Yep...I'm finding myself picking up the pace doing other tasks in my life too...it's amazing how many lost minutes are due to me working slowly and getting sidetracked!

[Lisa Smith]

Day 4 (June 11, 2011) - Saturdays are always difficult for me because it's the day that my boys go to see their Dad for the weekend and it's just always chaotic.  I choose to "let things go" on Friday night and it just added to the chaos on Saturday.  Then I read my task for today...AM I ENGAGED?  Ohhhh goodness, I KNEW this one was going to be a challenge.  I tried my best with my boys...but when I'm sitting there trying to listen intently to what one is saying and I have another one yelling MOM MOM MOM and another one hanging off my neck, I knew I was defeated.  And since school has been out for a week now, these boys have been CRAZY...but I tried my best...

 

 Just when I was at the end of my rope though, my ex-MIL called and asked if she could take the older two boys for the day until it was time for them to go with their Dad.  WHEW.  But...I was feeling terribly exhausted and once the youngest finally left with his Dad, I had no energy to do anything but lay.  So I ate a good dinner, relaxed in front of the TV with my BF and the next thing I knew...it was Sunday morning :)

[Jan Ferrante]

Hi Lisa, I think you are doing amazing. I remember those days well when my kids were young. I used to call it split brain syndrome :0) Working at home makes it even more brain splitting!

I can't remember if I put it in the email, most likely, but a really good rule of thumb is this saying from Maya Angelou - 'Do your eye's light up when your child walks in the room'. I know it can be a stretch some days, but I've tried to follow that and it really just naturally engages you. Thinking about the gift that is to a child from his/her mother really can't even be measured.

Of course when you have 3 all wanting your attention at one time you can't just give it to one. Being engaged is really a state of mind - you can be engaged in the situation as a whole. When you are exhausted and worn thin it is so easy to zone out (my sister has 5 kids, I well remember trying to talk to her when they were young, her constant reply was, oh yeah, without having heard a word I said :0). We'd laugh about it.

And of course that kind of thing is going to happen sometimes, you are only human. But if you can make it a habit to try to stay 'awake' and engaged on the whole, it can be life changing.

That said, I wanted to mention as well that any time I say anything, it is of course totally from my perspective and experience. Yours may differ. Always take what works for you and your family, maybe it will be some kind of inspiration, maybe it won't, maybe some days will be different than others.

btw, I will have a peek at the email series. I wasn't sure whether to post an email every day as I didn't want to over load. Basically as you've discovered any day you don't receive one would be a BOOST day. Looking at your 21 day checklist was a great idea, it really is handy.

Do you have a website for your business?

[Lisa Smith]

You know...honestly being "engaged" is something I've struggled with as a mother anyhow.  I have always felt this sense of guilt because I wasn't one of those mothers that was absolutely enamored with their children and was heartbroken if they had to be away from them for an hour.  I have other friends who have children who visit their fathers on the weekends also and I see them post on Facebook how sad they are without their children and how much they miss them and I'm like wow...I'm just enjoying some time alone here lol.

 

But I'm definitely going to take it to heart to try to make sure my "eyes light up" and spend more time focusing on their little words and hearts instead of always being "too busy".  I always appreciate all the advice and inspiration I can get...I'm still a fairly new mom and always trying to figure things out.

 

I have a FB page for my hats/bows: www.facebook.com/PisaMyHeartDesigns

[Jan Ferrante]

I think that it's all relative. When my kids were young I had such a sense of relief if my inlaws took them for awhile. My husband worked away for long periods of time so it was just me most of the time, working at home as well when they were a bit older.

I don't think that enjoying a break is wrong at all and you never know the story or the situation behind other people - you can never compare yourself to anyone else because no one is the exact same as you. Everyone has their own unique situation and support system. Enjoy your breaks, use the time to recharge. No guilt! That will only take you down and sap your energy.

My biggest take away from when my kids were young was that most of the things that I was 'too busy' with were nothing in comparison to them. If I had one thing to do over, it would be not to stress so much about the 'things' I had to do. It's not always easy, I still struggle with it sometimes!

[Lisa Smith]

Day 5 (June 12, 2011)

Today would be a good day if...

1. I can get through my entire Boost & catch up on Friday & Saturday's weekly chores.
2. I can complete a customer order for a hat and several hair bows that I'm running behind on.
3. I can sit down and, without guilt, enjoy a movie with my honey.

We shall see.... :)

[Lisa Smith]

Day 6 (June 13, 2011) - I wouldn't call yesterday a total wash, but I was just feeling so run down that I know I was not at my full potential.  BF helped me get a few Boost items done, I got the hat done and we sat down to watch a movie, but I fell asleep.

 

Today I didn't get an email telling me what I'm supposed to do :\  OH...just cheated and looked up my 21 Day checklist and it says Boost...so I'd better get to it.  My little ones will be home in 7 hours! :)

[Lisa Smith]

Day 7 (June 14, 2011) - Today is a "putter day" but considering I've taken several putter days lately, I'm going to make it a Boost day.  First though I must work on bows, which is going to throw off my day by a few hours, but hopefully I can jump back on track by the end of the day...it will be a challenge for sure!  But I am feeling a bit better today and not so tired, so I might be able to do this :)